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Why do people choose BDSM sites? Well, that is really easy to explain – because they need the communities to 100% comfortable and safe. And yes, they also need these communities because it is much simpler to find someone who can turn your wildest fantasies into reality in a private club of similar minded people.

But still, it does not mean that all BDSM sites can give you what you want. Some of them are trusted, and some are not, and unfortunately, the second fact stops some people from online BDSM dating. The good news is you don’t really have to refuse from such an opportunity – all the best platforms can be found on our list. Moreover, you can also find useful info on BDSM, terms, types of BDSM, and tips to find the best BDSM platforms here.

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BDSM Meaning – What is BDSM?

It may seem that everyone knows what BDSM is, but if you ask a lot of people about this, you will hear very different answers. Some will mention 50 shades of gray, some will say that this is what perverts do, and some will say that it is about people hurting each other. However, the concept of BDSM is more complicated. To understand what it really is, let us take a look at the abbreviation and its meaning.

  1. BD – stands for bondage and discipline – tying up, constraining movement.
  2. DS – stands for domination and submission – inequality, the power of one partner, control over another partner.
  3. SM – stands for sadism and masochism – sexual pleasure from feeling physical or/and emotional pain (humiliation).

Simply put, BDSM is a psychosexual subculture based on power exchange, submission and dominance. There are so many types of bondage, so many concepts, variations, and extents of discipline, so many forms of domination, submission, sadism, and masochism that we just cannot give it another, more narrow definition.

BDSM Terms

Now you know the definition of BDSM, but what about other common terms used by people who like rough sex more than vanilla sex? Here are the most frequently used BDSM terms.

  • Bondage. Though bondage sex always means tying someone up, it is a very broad term. The range of equipment that can be used is nearly endless – ropes and handcuffs are just the common “tools.” Techniques are also very diverse – there are a lot of things you can do with a tied or as a tying partner.
  • Discipline. In general, discipline is one of the things on which BDSM is based on. Someone sets the rules and punishes the submissive partner if he does not follow them. Of course, there is a kind of agreement between the parties, and a submissive partner can reject the punishment if it is too severe or if he/she just does not want this to happen. Still, discipline, as the set of rules and punishments, is essential.
  • Dominance and submission. As we mentioned before, dominance and submission are about the control one partner has over another one. One of the partners can control and punish another one, and the second partner can just obey (if it is not his hard limit, the definition can be found below.)
  • Sadism and masochism. We have already explained this term, but we’d like to add that there is a variation of these two kinds of behavior. This is the complementary form of “S” and “M” in BDSM.
  • Consent. Consent is crucial, too. BDSM is the sex play, not the real life for most of those who choose this path (there are exceptions, but the majority of people who are into BDSM express their passions in the bedroom). Moreover, “healthy” BDSM relationships are the relationships in which both parties know what to expect. That is why consent is the most important thing.
  • Aftercare. When a play ends, partners usually make sure that each of them enjoyed the scene, i.e., everything that happened. In most cases, a dominant partner does something for a submissive one if he needs something, for instance, ice, or just supports him or her by saying something nice.
  • Hard limits. Hard limit is something that someone who takes part in the play considers unacceptable. For example, your partner can say something like “I don’t like gold showers”, and this will be his or her limit.

Of course, there are many more terms we could mention, and these are just some of the most common ones. There are even BDSM glossaries available on the web, so if you are looking for more specific terms, you will find all the info you need without much difficulty. If you realize that you really want to give it a try and that is it not just the impulsive desire, consider joining one of the BDSM sex sites.

What are the Best BDSM Dating Sites?

Experienced fans of this subculture would say that the best, easiest, fastest, and the most convenient way to get amazing BDSM experience is to find partners on the web, on niche platforms, of course. But what exactly is a BDSM dating site? What can a member of such a community expect?

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Anything that is somehow related to this subculture, actually. However, in most cases, members of such sites get the following:

  • Sex. Of course, this is the most important reason why people choose such sites. They just give them what they want – great BDSM sex. You can meet someone online and have sex in video chat, enjoy sexting, and discussing your fantasies. If you like someone, you can meet in real life and finally make all your fantasies come true. And yes, you will never be ashamed or stigmatized for your tastes and sexual preferences.
  • Tons of content. Yes, that is one of the reasons why people choose such websites. Everyone who becomes a member of such a community has access not only to other members’ profiles and communication tools but also to galleries with hot pics and videos. The thing is that if it is the niche platform, you will not have to search for BDSM videos in separate categories unless these are the subcategories like foot fetish or golden rain – you can see only BDSM content.
  • Forums & threads. If you are a beginner, it might be interesting for you to talk to experienced members. Or it might be interesting for you to know something new about certain forms of BDSM and meet someone who knows how to do everything right. Group chats, forums, comment sections, all this is great for everyone who is going to discover the world of BDSM pleasure or extend its boundaries.
  • Stores with sex toys. On the largest platforms, you can not only watch hot BDSM videos, pictures, read articles, but also make purchases in the online store right there. This is especially good for those who do not want to spend a lot of time looking for a trusted store that sells only BDSM sex toys.
  • Safety & support. Yes, members of such websites also get support, in every way. We mean, every user can get professional assistance and emotional support from the community, if he or she needs it.

How Do We Find and Rank the Best BDSM Sites?

As we noted before, you should not join the first BDSM site you see in Google search results. Firstly, most trusted sites are paid platforms, and we believe that no one should pay for a pig in a poke. You need to know what exactly you are going to choose before you pay for a subscription. Secondly, we are talking about BDSM sex sites. Providing your data from your email address to your private photos to a suspicious website is a bad idea, right? That is why we developed our own strategy to distinguish really great BDSM sites. So that is how we chose the best platforms you can see in our ranking:

  1. Signing up. We create the account on every safe to find out if registration is free and fast and what data we have to provide.
  2. Members. Are they real? Who is accepted by the team of the website? Is there a verification procedure? Is the community friendly enough? We always find the answers to all these questions.
  3. Profiles. We always browse tons of profiles before we decide that the site is worth joining. If they look fake and if members do not provide any info and pics, we will not recommend this platform.
  4. Pricing. If the site is free (really free, no hidden costs) we skip this step. If you need to pay, we make sure that there is good value for money.
  5. Content. As we mentioned before, BDSM sites are not only about communication but also about the content. We make sure that the site has something really interesting to offer to someone who is in the mood to watch some videos and browse some pics.
  6. Communication. Okay, these are BDSM hookup/dating/sex sites, and that is why we pay special attention to interaction. Chats, calls, voice messaging, attachment of different types of files, and so on – we always check if people looking for a BDSM encounter can make contacts and keep in touch with others in plenty of ways.
  7. Safety. What can be more important than safety when it comes to sex dating, especially fetish sex dating? Our experts check if there were data leaks. They also make sure that the site does not sell or disclose data and that only safe payment methods are available.

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Yes, there are many things to take into account when choosing a BDSM platform. But there is no denying the fact that the result is worth it – after all, a user takes these measures to protect himself from plenty of unpleasant things from disappointment in content to data leaks and money loss. But, you can save your time by checking out the reviews of the sites in our rankings – now you know how carefully we usually test them.

Forms of BDSM

What are the forms of BDSM? Well, there are dozens of them. Still, the most common ones can be distinguished, too. We listed and described them below.

  • Cuckold. A cuckold is a man who enjoys humiliation. In most cases, it means that he likes it when another guy is having sex with his girlfriend or wife. Ladies can be cucks, too – but they are usually called cuckqueans.
  • Master/slave, owner/pet. These are the most popular dominant/submissive roleplays, at least when it comes to people who love BDSM.
  • Wax play. Wax play is one of the most “socially accepted” forms of BDSM because it is associated with romantic, erotic play. However, it can take various forms and be pretty rough, too.
  • Edgeplay. The most important thing all people curious about BDSM need to understand is that edgeplay is risky. It is not for beginners. There is no single definition, just because edgeplay is different for everyone, but it always means that something dangerous is used to feel that pleasure. Edgeplay is the play with blood, so it is very important to know that you all know that you are doing and enjoy this.
  • Footfetish. Yes, this very popular fetish works well enough with BDSM, too. A partner who has this fetish and enjoys submissive roles can take pleasure as from smelling/licking/etc. feet but also from humiliation.

Some BDSM Tips for Beginners

As you can see, BDSM is a very broad term. It is a very broad phenomenon, too. However, though this subculture is very diverse, there are a few tips all beginners should follow, and you can see the most useful of them below.

  1. What do you like most? In such kinds of plays, it is important to identify yourself. What role do you want to play? Who you really want to be? Do you like being dominant or submissive? If you are not sure, switch the roles in a not so rough play.
  2. Be careful. Do not ignore safety rules. It is more than just important when it comes to BDSM. Agree on safe words (in most cases, regular green, yellow, and red are used,) discuss the details. There is nothing to be ashamed of – talking about what is going to happen is the best way to get the most enjoyable experience for both of you.
  3. Do not pretend to be into BDSM, especially with a more experienced partner. If you want to enjoy the play, do not pretend to be a pro. Even if you two discuss what is going to happen before you start your play, some things that may seem not so severe can turn out to be really painful. Besides, “being into BDSM” does not sound cool – it is rather silly because BDSM is a too broad term to be “into it”.
  4. Test the toys. There is a wide variety of various sex toys that can make you feel pain and pleasure simultaneously. So do not be afraid to try something new, but test it yourself before you use them during the play with your partner.
  5. Relax and enjoy the play. Shame during discussions and during the play can spoil everything. If you are playing the game, if you do it with a good partner (especially if you are sure about his or her tastes, for example), if you agree on safe words, if you really like your role, everything will be great.

In general, there is one important thing to understand. Yes, BDSM is complicated and often painful – it is not only about pain, and humiliation and most people who like it cannot be considered perverts. Being kinky is not a crime or something socially unaccepted, this is like the taste – no one can blame anyone for his tastes in music, movies, and sex until he hurts their partners against their will. BDSM is a subculture, and if you think that this might be what you were always looking for, why not start with joining one of the top BDSM sites?